Saturday, 4 February 2012
I hate the perfume advert where the walls collapse.
When I was at College (this is going somewhere related to perfume, kinda...), me and my pals spent lunchtimes in the Canteen. Said canteen was populated almost entirely by the 'Cool' kids. We weren't part of the cool group, but we weren't geeks or goths, so were socially in a proper inbetweeners style no-mans-land. Geeking it up in the library doing homework was out, as was wearing leather and cutting ourselves to Marilyn Manson, so we tagged ourselves loosely to the cool group. They were pretty cunty.
I remember one "cool" girl loudly telling her shit friends the plain white top she was wearing had cost £80. "I just prefer designer stuff cos it's better. Giggle giggle". Working in a designer clothes shop was the most common job they seemed to have. Someone else was the third cousin of the uncle of a man who walked the dog of someone who owned a local nightclub, and had got some of the group onto the £3 guestlist one night, so he was well in too. One bloke claimed he never wore the same pair of jeans twice, and another drove a souped-up Toyota Yaris which somehow made him a top boy too. He wrote it off after about a year, crashing into a tree. As if that wasn't good in itself, it later transpired it wasn't insured. Lolz.
The thing that annoyed me most about them though, was that despite there being a water cooler in the canteen, they would NEVER use it and would always spend £1.20 on bottles of water instead, as that was considered "cool". Madness.
On to the present day, and many of them are still living the dream working at their designer clothes shops earning £6 an hour and still spending all their money on bottled water. Let that be a lesson to you kids.
Anyway, back to perfume adverts. When I watch them, I always wonder who on earth they are being targeted at. And the ONLY social demographic I can imagine would watch them and think "yeah that looks good", is those cunts from the canteen.
Let's have a look at the one I hate most:
So... a few arty picturehouse style cut scenes of him doing some filming and staring, a packed press conference, he's asked to rephrase the question you've not been told, he spots the girl who was in his flashbacks, and then he says "I'm not going to be the person I'm expected to be anymore..". And then, of course, the fucking walls fall down.
It makes literally zero sense. There's not even a clever subtext, it's not a metaphor for anything, it's nothing - it's just fucking wanky pretentious bollocks.
If you like this advert, I have the following advice for you: stop buying bottled water, stop wasting your money on designer clothes, get a real job, and stop being a massive cunt.